Feminine Power
The online newsletter dedicated to helping you integrate feminine and masculine power for sustainable success.

Upcoming Events LAST-MINUTE OPENINGS FOR A DELICIOUS RETREAT! You know how sometimes life just opens a door for us? Well, that’s happened for YOU if you’d been thinking of coming to our sold-out October retreat but missed your chance: two participants who’d already registered found out that – for different reasons – they need to come next spring instead. That leaves two openings in the Elements of Feminine Power Retreat October 13th through 15th at the magnificent waterfront Alderbrook Resort. You’ll receive abundant pampering and deep learning about feminine and masculine power. You deserve this break, and if you’ve ever asked “How am I going to keep going like this?” you’ve found the retreat that will teach you to not only keep going, but do even more, with half the stress. Click here to learn more or call 206.686.7697 for more information. TWO OPPORTUNITIES TO LEARN AND CONNECT WITH TRUE PEERS: 1 - Tuesday, September 19, 7-9am, at the Bellevue Harbor Club Hiding from Judgment: Why Women Play Small to Avoid Criticism and How We Can Stop Being a high-performance woman sure puts us in the spotlight, doesn't it? Growing a business, getting PR, or leading a team opens women up others' judgments and criticism. And a shocking number of us hold ourselves back, staying small just to make sure we avoid becoming targets for people's nastiness. If you're tired of holding yourself back to make sure you don't threaten others or you're sick of hunkering down under the barrage of judgments -- this workshop will show you how to handle others' criticism (and your own!) so you're free to fly high without fear of being shot down. $45; includes training, breakfast, materials, and a surprise gift. 2 - Thursday, September 21, 6:15-8:30pm at the Columbia Tower Club, Seattle Friends with Money: How Women Can Overcome Financial Tension in Our Relationships Money is one of the most common sources of strain in marriages and friendships. As women, we care so much about both our connections and our prosperity, that sometimes we feel like we have to choose between the two. Whether it's earning more than our parents, husbands, or friends, inheriting money, or taking a unique path with spending or saving, money often does create complications in relationshipbut it doesn't have to be so hard! Come learn how integrating self-reliance and connection can help you make peace between money and relationships. $60; includes training, dinner, materials, and a surprise gift. Register by calling the Columbia Tower Club concierge at 206-622-2010. CTC members receive a $5 discount. Playin’ with the Boys: Professional Development and Personal Renewal for Women in Masculine Workplaces Do you want to continue to “play to win” at work, without the depletion? We’ve received so many requests for more support for women in masculine environments that our partner Sheila Delaney Duke has developed this program just for you. The program will launch soon, but if you want to participate in the final focus group and receive a very special bonus, click here,take the survey, and then email sheila@workingwithpower.com to let facilitator Sheila Delaney-Duke know you’re interested.

So we don’t know exactly how to break this to you...’cause we’re not sure you’re really going to want to hear it. And not all our clients cop to it right away when we point it out. But sometime, some way, in almost every woman’s career, it rears its ugly head.

It’s fear. Not fear in general, or fear of the doing of the things on our goals list...Nope, it’s a more insidious, and harder-to-pin-down fear. As women, one of the greatest fears we face as we move forward in our careers is fear of losing our connection with – and the approval of – other people. Bottom line: we’re afraid people will criticize, judge, or reject us if we go for that new job, stand up as leaders (even if we’re already the boss!), or make the kind of money we truly yearn to earn.

Do we always let that fear stop us from goin’ for it? Of course not...Frankly, we often don’t know the fear’s even there. But that’s the real problem: women’s fear of losing connection as we excel is a massive weight on our backs, whether we know it’s there or not. It slows down almost everyone’s career in one (or both) of two ways:

Either you’re holding yourself back because you fear what will happen to your relationships if you attain all the success and happiness you want....Or you’re running around armored up, distant from other people, lonely and depleted and working really hard with not so much joy.

Either way, this fear is draining you and holding you back from the accomplishments and happiness you deserve.

This sucks! How did we wind up here?

Well, the way the two of us see it, all girls are trained all our lives to choose relationships over achievements. We’re taught not to make waves, not to let anybody feel bad (even if we have to play small, give up our cookie, or smile when we feel like kicking, in order to do it). So here we are years later, struggling to both do well ourselves AND have everyone like us.

So what’s a girl to do? How do we live the lives we envision for ourselves without losing our connection with friends and co-workers? If you turn to the traditional “get ahead” books, you’ll read clear instructions on how to become Teflon® Girl: “armor up,” play like a guy, and fend off others’ criticism and upsets in your pursuit of your goals. But anyone who’s tried that knows that it’s tough to keep up – and even when we can, playing so tough on the outside feels pretty lousy on the inside.

There IS a better way, though, and it helps us both grow into who we most want to be AND be (almost all the time!) liked and respected by those around us. This very issue is our topic at the next Women Succeed with Ease Training on September 19. See the next section for details, and below that, we’ve got a few tips for how you can stand up for yourself, your career, and your happiness without losing your connections.

Practices for Stepping Forward
(Without Leaving People Behind)

The following practices have helped us and our clients take risks at work and in life, WHILE maintaining the connections that matter most to us. E-mail us at support@elementsoffemininepower.com and let us know your experiences with them.

1. SEE IT COMIN’: When you reach for a new goal, get a promotion, or start asking more of those around you, anticipate their likely responses. It’s only natural that your change will stir things up all around you...nobody’s fault; that’s just how it works. So give yourself and others time and space to adjust. And plan and rehearse clear, clean ways to communicate with others while you’re giving them room to react.
2. BUILD ‘EM STRONG: Connections based on “we’re exactly the same!” or “we’ve done the same job side by side for years” are brittle – they’ll crack in the windstorm of your career progress. But relationships grow stronger and more resilient when we connect based on mutual growth, support, and admiration of one another’s strengths and individuality.
3. LET GO WHEN IT’S TIME: You know when it’s gone on too long. C’mon...Fess up! When you’re only connecting around your past together, your common suffering, or how badly someone needs you (or vice versa), it’s time to cut the apron strings, for both your sakes. You both deserve better.
Just a final reminder: You CAN go for what you want without losing the people who matter. You can make a lot of money, you can be brilliant, you can reach unprecedented accomplishments, without being judged, criticized, or rejected. It just takes an integration of your masculine and feminine skills.

Until next time,
Here’s to your uniquely feminine power!

Blessings,
Sara and Michele

GET THE STARS TO LINE UP, EVERY TIME! Have you ever wondered why a project absolutely won’t budge for months, but then all of a sudden, everything falls into place? Apparently, days are not all created equal! You an achieve better business results by being in harmony with the natural cycles. The 2007 Good Timing Guide makes it easy to observe the planetary cycles and plan your time accordingly for all common aspects of business. How easy is that? Buy yours online at www.polarisbusinessguides.com.

WORKINGWITHPOWER.COM? Oh, so good of you to notice! Yes, we HAVE changed our URL and will be updating other aspects of our branding to reflect the new name over the coming months. Our full name and tagline: Working with Power: Professional Development and Personal Renewal for Women and Teams. Please add the domain workingwithpower.com to your whitelist, safe list, or whatever list you have that makes sure you’ll get our e-mail in the future! Printable version | Subscribe to Feminine Power © 2006 Sara Harvey Yao and Michele Lisenbury Christensen. All rights reserved. Feel free to forward or re-publish, with the following copyright and contact information attached: "By Sara Harvey Yao, MA and Michele Lisenbury Christensen, MA, PCC. Please visit www.elementsoffemininepower.com to read more about the twelve elements of feminine and masculine power, learn about events with Michele and Sara, and request a free audio CD introducing the elements." To make subscription changes, please don't e-mail us; click the link at the very bottom. You can make your change or end your subscription in just a few seconds. Challenged? E-mail support@elementsoffemininepower.com. Thanks! PRIVACY and Spam Policy: You'll never get an e-mail from a stranger as a result of this list, since we never sell, rent, or give away our subscription list. All privacy, no spam! TO SUBSCRIBE FREE: Visit www.elementsoffemininepower.com/subscribe.html Takes about 20 seconds. You'll receive our audio introduction to the Elements of Feminine Power and every month we'll send you fresh ways to activate your power for sustainable success.