Welcome to our new e-zine!
Wait! Wait! Don’t delete ‘cause you don’t recognize us! It’s Sara Harvey Yao and Michele Lisenbury Christensen here! This is the first issue of the new Feminine Power e-zine. You’re receiving this because you signed up for our e-zine at one of our events or have worked with one of us in the past. Enjoy this issue, and let us know what you think! To subscribe, end your subscription or change your delivery address, please scroll to the end for instructions. Please help others integrate feminine power, too, by forwarding this issue to others who’ll enjoy it.

In this issue:
The People vs. Productivity Dilemma: 4 pages
Reading time: Approximately 8 minutes

Upcoming Events Tuesday, FEBRUARY 21, 7-8:30 p.m. Superwoman's Heartache: The Relationship Pain of Powerful Women Whether struggling to find a partner or yearning for more satisfaction in the long-term relationship they have, the most powerful women often suffer the most relationship pain. Why is that? In this workshop, you will learn how we powerful women set ourselves up for pain and how we can move past it, to attain the satisfying, soulful relationships we crave. $15; Register by calling East West Bookshop at 206.523.3726 Tuesday, FEBRUARY 28, 7-9 a.m. at the Bellevue Harbor Club Success with Ease Training for Women: Neither Mommy nor Tyrant: Feminine Secrets for Powerful Management Click here to learn more about this and future events and register. The New Manager Development Program for Women This one-of-a-kind program integrates the best management development curriculum with practical strategies for leveraging feminine qualities for management success. The next six-month session begins soon. If you know any new female managers, please pass this information along. We guarantee this will improve their performance while they actually enjoy their new role! Click here to learn more.

If you’re like most women leaders at work, you are constantly faced with the people vs. productivity dilemma. See, we all seem to have this love-hate relationship with the people in our professional lives. The dilemma of people vs. productivity manifests itself in a number of different ways. Any of these sound like something you might have said?:

• “I just wish everyone would GO AWAY so I can get things done!”
• “I’m so busy taking care of my staff’s problems, I have no time to move my projects forward!”
• “I love my team when they’re on the ball...I just can’t stand all their childish behavior the rest of the time.”
• “Does this person think I’m her mother or her therapist?”

Every day, we’re confronted with the dual challenge of creating results and creating relationships. And work can’t really be satisfying without success in both areas. Imagine it: you kicked butt on the project, but no one likes you anymore. Or on the other hand, maybe your team has fantastic morale, but you’re not hitting your targets. If you’re like most women, on most days you’re either maintaining relationships at the expense of productivity or sacrificing your own or others’ feelings for the sake of getting things done.

But the people vs. productivity dilemma is not an ACTUAL irresolvable paradox. It’s a myth. You don’t have to choose between people and productivity. The either-or paradigm that says they’re at odds is the real source of your exhaustion and frustration.

As long as relationships and performance are at odds, you will always be depleted by your pursuit of success. Your real challenge – and opportunity – is to recognize that the greatest productivity comes when we are truly connected. Instead of being drained by people, you can be energized by them. Instead of stepping over “personal issues” that get in the way of productivity, you can quickly work through them or compassionately set them aside and continue working well.

Connection means relating, not taking on or being overwhelmed by others’ feelings or points of view. Connection is the link between people and productivity that allows us to work with people rather than in spite of them. When we’re connected, we can hold three priorities at once: the other person matters, we matter, AND the work matters. None needs to be sacrificed for the sake of the others.

Are you thinking, “Yeah...whatever! Sounds nice, but around here, that’s just not realistic!” We know, we know! We hear it every time when we begin consulting with a manager or business owner. But time and again, the Elements of Feminine Power have allowed these same women to become more productive by creating deeper connection. Work becomes so much easier when you don’t have to choose between people and productivity. Whether you run a department, manage your own company, or work alone, learning to integrate connection and productivity is the single most important management skill to your success...and your personal fulfillment with your work.

It’s so familiar to believe that relating and producing are competitors for your time and energy... to think of them as synergistic is almost counter-intuitive, isn’t it? Here’s why: in our culture, our predominant world view is masculine and mechanistic. We’ve been taught to think of work and play, of people and productivity, and of intelligence and feelings, as separate, opposite, and even oppositional to one another. That black-and-white outlook, when we live from it, has us compartmentalize our lives, fragment our energy, and live at less than our best. But we CAN integrate all these elements, and it’s our feminine nature to do so! Our natural way of managing can weave people and productivity effortlessly. This is what makes women leaders unique and powerful: it’s our natural gift. When you really integrate your feminine and , as so many of our clients have, your old “manufactured” management style will seem antiquated and needlessly exhausting.

So why wouldn’t you integrate connection into your work style? “‘Cause it’ll make me a pansy, that’s why!” Women often have so many distorted views of what connection looks like that they don’t want to touch it with a ten-foot pole. But we want you to see connection clearly, so that you can understand how your feminine trait of connectedness is an asset, NOT a liability.

Our clients often balk at cultivating more connections, and they’ve told us some very good reasons why. They (and perhaps you) sometimes think connection means:

But all of those are distortions of connection, not the real thing. If you knew that you could cultivate deep connection with other people – connection that would allow for amazing productivity and enjoyable collaboration – without any of those yucky side effects we sometimes envision, would you give it a try?

We train both women and men to integrate connection and productivity in their work and their lives. Our upcoming events are great opportunities to experience a taste of this integration for yourself. As well, you can get started today! In the next section after you read about our events, we’ll offer several steps you can take today to begin integrating connection into your management style.

Practices for Integrating Connection and Productivity

The following practices have helped us and our clients leverage connection for greater productivity and fulfillment. E-mail us at support@elementsoffemininepower.com and let us know your experiences with them.

The quickest way to quiet a squeaky wheel: You’ll save a lot of time if you’ll listen through people’s surface demands and arguments and get to their real feelings and needs they’re trying to convey. When you can hear what they feel and need, you can in turn help them feel understood and validated, and you don’t have to indulge them or go “into it” with them. Until someone feels heard, they keep acting out in new (and ever-more-irritating!) ways. When you really hear them and show it, you can express care and can meet the need very quickly without having to kowtow to specific demands or arguments. Heard = over it. Unheard = festering. Any questions?

Connect first, then get to work: People tend to think the quickest way to make a meeting productive is to skip the people and focus on the tasks. But what slows tasks down? PEOPLE do! Even YOU! We’re all more productive when we take (just!) a moment to notice one another as human beings and to deliberately set aside or resolve anything that’s distracting or detracting from the work at hand. It’s simple and doesn’t have to be cheesy: Just take a minute to see “how is everyone doing?” and “what do we need to address so we can move forward easily?”

Relate while you correct: Whether the people you work with are employees or contractors or simply clients, getting better behavior out of them works LOTS better when you see them as people first, performers second. We all make mistakes, have bad days, or get lazy. So when you’re not getting what you want from someone, it may not be a hammer you need, but a gentle conversation. The key ingredients: 1 - “hey, I value our relationship” 2 – “this part’s not working” 3 – “here’s what I need” 4 – “how’s that for you?” (notice “what’s your problem?” is not one of the keys to connection!).

Just a final reminder: Like gathering your ingredients before you start cooking, these little investments of time are NOT slowing you down, they actually accelerate your productivity. So connect, be productive, and enjoy!

Until next time,
Here’s to your uniquely feminine power!

Stressed out? No time to relax? DO WHAT WE DO... When we don’t have time to pamper ourselves, we just reach into our purses for the tiny bottles of Warm Spirit lotion we keep there, or we light a candle on our desk to bring light into a hectic day. For easy ways to nurture yourself, you can do as we do and turn to Audrey Godwin and Warm Spirit. Audrey is an independent consultant and a true warm spirit herself. Warm Spirit provides nature-based products made with therapeutic grade essential oils. We love the candles, lotions, and bath products! Audrey was drawn to Warm Spirit by its mission: “The heart and soul of Warm Spirit is empowering people to care for themselves and to nurture their potential within.” Audrey can be reached at 206-579-1063 or visit www.warmspirit.org/agodwin to learn more about and order Warm Spirit products.

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