Upcoming Events TWO OPPORTUNITIES TO LEARN AND CONNECT WITH TRUE PEERS (learn more about either at www.womensucceedwithease.com): Tuesday JULY 18, 7-9am, at the Bellevue Harbor Club Friends with Money: How Women Can Overcome Financial Tension in Our Relationships Money is one of the most common sources of strain in marriages and friendships. As women, we care so much about both our connections and our prosperity, that sometimes we feel like we have to choose between the two. Whether it’s earning more than our parents, husbands, or friends, inheriting money, or taking a unique path with spending or saving, money often does create complications in relationship…but it doesn’t have to be so hard! Come learn how integrating self-reliance and connection can help you make peace between money and relationships. JULY 20, 6:15-8:30pm at the Columbia Tower Club, Seattle Neither Mommy nor Tyrant: Feminine Secrets for Powerful Management As managers and leaders, well-intentioned women often find themselves vacillating between trying to be a friend to keep morale high and becoming a drill sergeant to get things done. There IS a better way to maintain connection and be productive as a team. Come to this event and learn the six feminine secrets of powerful management. You'll arrive at your office Friday morning a better, more consistent leader than you'd been on Thursday. Mark your calendar and reserve your spot… The October Elements of Feminine Power Retreat is filling fast! Come to the luxurious waterfront Alderbrook Lodge for three days of pampering, deep learning about feminine and masculine power, and delightful connection with other powerful women. You deserve this break, and if you’ve ever asked “How am I going to keep going like this?” you’ve found the retreat that will teach you to not only keep going, but do even more, with half the stress. Click here to learn more.

“A lady never tells.” That used to be the coy response to the question of one’s age… but isn’t it also our policy with regard to income? Many of us were taught – or we sensed it at some level – that talking about money was a bad idea. But as consultants to many women with admirable incomes, the two of us hear a lot about money...and we’ll let you listen in on a few of the things women say, just to see if you can relate:

“I’ve always worked hard, and now that my hard work is starting to pay off financially, I’m scared my friends will all be jealous, not happy for me, and I’ll lose them.”

“I make more than my husband, and the pressure of being the primary breadwinner is crushing me!”

“I feel guilty that I make more than my parents did...they worked so hard, and they supported me to get through school, and now I have all this money, but do I deserve it?”

“I love being generous to friends and family, but with some people, it feels like I’m expected to pay simply because I make more.”

“Since the kids came, my mother-in-law has been giving us money for things like summer camp, sports gear, and vacations...but there are always strings attached.”

What do all these conversations have in common, you ask?

Well, for one thing, you KNOW they don’t happen among men, do they?!? Don’t get us wrong – we’re not guy-bashing when we say it. But the truth is, women have a lot more energy wrapped up in worrying about how money affects (or might affect) our relationships than men do. We want to get paid what we’re worth – and we know we’re worth a lot! And we want to be able to buy nice things for ourselves and others. But if you’re like us and our clients and friends, you’ll probably admit: you NEVER want money to come between you and the people you care about...and we women frequently suffer big-time when money and relationships get mixed together.

So why do things get so funky when we combine money and the people in our lives? And what can we do about it?

The reason we feel hog-tied about how others think and feel about us when it comes to money is that we have distorted our sense of connection and/or our sense of self-reliance. Some of the distortions that lead to the problems we described earlier include:

• Jealousy isn’t normal; it’s bad, and when it’s present, we can’t talk about it.
• If I’m strong, I have to be strong all the time and I can’t ask for help or count on others.
• Connection is based on us being at the same level, doing the same things, and not changing.
• If I bring up something that feels yucky to me, I will jeopardize the relationship, so I just have to put up with my friends and family.
• If people want to give me money, I can’t say no, and I have to accept whatever strings are attached.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? It sounds very familiar to many women. But there IS a way out. It’s possible for all of us – even you! – to clean up those distortions of connection and self-reliance and to make friends with money (pun intended). When you integrate your connection power and your self-reliance power, money becomes a tool of service. With integration, money comes to you more easily, you’re free to use it in ways that serve you and others, and money can actually enhance your relationships rather than detract from them.

This very issue is our topic at the next Women Succeed with Ease Training on July 18. See the next section for details, and below that, we’ve got a few tips for how you can begin to integrate your self-reliance and connection today.

Practices for Integrating

The following practices have helped us and our clients integrate self-reliance and connection to create peace with money and relationships. E-mail us at support@elementsoffemininepower.com and let us know your experiences with them.

“Why” before you buy: When you’re about to buy a gift or treat a friend or relative to a meal, pause and ask yourself, “Am I doing this out of guilt? Obligation? Indebtedness? To avoid controversy? Because I hope it will create connection?” Unless you’re buying from joy or inspiration, consider another option.

Frontload the tough stuff: Any time you anticipate financial stickiness with friends or family, address it beforehand. Examples:

• “Let’s both buy our tickets separately” (if you don’t tend to get paid back for things you thought you would)
• “I’m excited to meet in Chicago for the weekend, and I want to be clear that we’ll pay for our meals, and you will pay for yours”
• “Thank you for the offer to buy us tickets to Florida for Thanksgiving. We look forward to a great visit with you here in December, but we’re going to stay home for Thanksgiving this year.”

Just a final reminder: You CAN be both prosperous and loved. You CAN have boundaries and be loved. You CAN enjoy your success without having to compromise yourself OR your relationships. As you activate both authentic connection and authentic self-reliance, you will notice it gets easier and easier to have great relationships AND great finances.

Until next time,
Here’s to your uniquely feminine power!

Blessings,
Sara and Michele

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