Working With Power
The online newsletter for retaining great women and working in a sustainable way

In this issue:
Deadline? Vision, Don’t Panic: 3 pages
Approximate reading time: 6 minutes

On Michele’s side:

• “There’s so much to do before I stop working...how will I get it all done?”
• “I’ve already got baby brain...is what I’m producing now any good anyway?”
• “Am I earning my keep or will Sara realize I’m just dead weight around here anyway?”

On Sara’s side:

• “If we don’t get the things done that are Michele’s forte, I’m going to be sunk this summer!”
• “The clock is ticking and every new thing that comes up (like the cold we both have right now) just wastes more of our limited time.”
• “How am I supposed to do my job if I don’t get the support I need?”

As for you...you could look at this article as an update on what’s going on over here at Working with Power. But the real reason we’re sharing this not-so-flattering portrait of our own panic is because we know you’ve been there yourself. Some of you may feel like you LIVE in a state of panic...because you are hurtling from one deadline or trip or project to the next and/or because it’s so hard to try to get what you need from those around you amid all their competing priorities.

So what are you – and we – to do? Well, as usual, the two of us turned to the Elements of Power to see what they have to teach us about making this easier. There’s something ironic about what we’ve learned: The antidote is the same whether you’re the “resource” whose production is limited by an impending deadline or the “consumer” who’s relying on someone else’s production so you can get your own job done.

On both sides, the trouble starts when we get “clenchy” (a technical term) around time, tasks, and communication. We get into distortions of driving, self-reliance, and focus, and under-use their counterparts: receiving, connection, and holism. If you haven’t looked at the 12 Elements of Power chart in a while, it might help to see it. Click here. Thankfully, the solution is as simple as balancing out which Elements, or tools, we’re using. Adding in more receiving OR connection OR holism will take us a long way to solving our struggle. We’ll talk more about what that might look like for you in the section after next. First, though, read about some places you can get support, connection, and learning (and maybe catch a last glimpse of the growing Cooper-bump in Michele’s belly).

TOOLS TO SHIFT FROM PANIC TO VISION

The following practices have helped us and our clients shift from panic to vision in ways that are easy and fun. Please E-mail us and let us know your experiences with them.

RECEIVING
Instead of focusing on how you’re going to get everything done, or get what you need from someone else, focus on the outcome you really desire. For example, if we (Michele and Sara) spent our time focusing on how we’re going to get everything done, we would feel stress, pressure and scarcity of time. Instead, we’re choosing (after beating our heads against the wall for a bit of course) to focus on how we want this summer to feel. We want Michele to enjoy a relaxed, easy transition into motherhood and we want Sara to feel really supported as she moves forward with the business.

CONNECTION
When you start feeling like you’re the only person that can make something happen, it’s easy to start feeling isolated, fearful and exhausted. When you’re in that state, you have taken you skill of self-reliance past the point of its effectiveness. When you’re feeling alone or resentful, it’s time to re-connect. Just choose one of these and they will help you remember you’re not supposed to do this alone:

• Talk through the pressure you’re feeling with someone else
• Go take a walk and remember you’re a part of something much larger
• Assume there are dozens of places you could turn for support, then call upon three of them

HOLISM
When you’re overwhelmed, it’s likely you have lost your sense for the bigger picture. So much of our pressure is manufactured in our own minds. Question your own standards and commitments. Are they all necessary and realistic? What would happen (really!) if you re-negotiated? For instance, we had BIG ideas for the projects we needed to complete prior to Michele taking leave. One of them was to have a 10 CD audio product written and produced before May 1st. What were we thinking?! We love our ambition, but when it started weighing heavily on us, we knew it was time to let that goal go. For now. We’ll do it when the time is right. Phew.

Now, we know all of these may sound counter-logical because your brain will tell you to push harder, more self-reliant and focused, but when you start feeling worn out, it’s a good sign these skills have taken you as far they can. The solution is easy: integrate the other half of your skills. It makes everything a whole lot easier.

Blessings,
Sara and Michele

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